Pampers Cruisers

We received our pampers cruisers and almost immediately fell in love.

My little monkey loves to climb and play. I often have to stop my very active child to change her. With Pampers Cruisers she was able to play longer and stay dry.

They even kept her dry over night. We were definitely won over and they are our diapers of choice. X

Influenstner Jolly VoxBox

Two days ago I went to my mail box to find this red awesome box waiting for me.

I didn't know what to expect but I knew it was free samples and free samples are just a few of my favorite things. 

Boy was I happy when I opened it. 

It was like a little Christmas just for me.

The first thing I tried was the eye shadow.

I mean, what girl doesn't love free make up, right?

The eye shadow is NYC HD Color Trio Eye Shadow.

The shade is Long Beach Sands.

I am in love. 

It goes on smooth and lasts all day.

I love the colors because it gives me a little bit of summer in all this snow.
The price isn't rough on the purse either.
It's around $3 at your local Wal Mart or Target.

The second thing I tried was the Rimmel London Show Off Lip Lacquer.
The shade is Stargazer.

I do like it, a lot. It looks very pretty, goes on well and smells so good.
However, it doesn't last long.
That won't stop me from wearing it, though!

-The Scariest Place On Earth-

A lot of people would describe the scariest place on earth as something out of a horror movie. 

A place filled with zombies, spiders or whatever other terrible thing the human brain can think of.

I however would take all of those over being in the NICU.

At the time my little Sophia was born, they told me that she was perfectly healthy. 

I was so happy to hear that.

Since she was premature there were so many things that could have been wrong.

BUT..

As the day went on, things started to get a little tough.

Her body temperature slowly and continually fell.

Her daddy and I took turns with kangaroo care.

Research Kangaroo Care here

That still wasn't working so they hooked up a warmer for her.

As long as she was under the warmer, she was okay but when we would take her out to eat, her temp would go right back down.

We had to keep her under the warmer as much as possible which meant that we couldn't hold her.

That was torture enough, we didn't need the next set of news.

Her sugar was way too low and her bilirubin was very high.

Then she stopped nursing. 

I had to pump and force feed her through a syringe. 

It made her cry and broke my heart but I was trying desperately to avoid any kind of feeding tube .

After trying and failing to pull her sugars and temperature up and keep them up, 

the very kind nurses informed me that the pediatric team was coming to take her to the NICU.

I just stood at her warmer (because I was not allowed to hold her) and cried until they came to take her away.

I was not allowed to join her at first.

This made for a very unhappy and anxious Mommy. 

I passed the time by ordering my lunch, but not eating it, taking a shower and pacing my room until they told me that I was allowed see her.

She was so small and helpless.

Her hand and sleeve were full of blood because the person who put in her IV forgot to clean her up,

Her heels were actively bleeding from all the sticks and blood tests.

She was also hooked to a ton of machines that kept going off because her heart wouldn't beat the way it was suppose to and her oxygen levels were low. 

There were instant tears on my part.

I was finally allowed to hold her and try to feed her.

She didn't eat but it was nice holding her to me.

Her doctor explained to Jeremy and I that she was probably going to need to be there a while and that she was going to try to get Sophia a private room so we could spend the nights with her instead of at the Ronald McDonald House.

One of the times that I went to try to feed her during the night there was a code blue on one of the other babies.

These things made it impossible for me to sleep.

Things could have gone very, very wrong but by the grace of God, when it looked like things were getting worse instead of better,suddenly, she turned around.

With in two hours, she was maintaining her own temperature and her sugars came up.

After only two days in the NICU, she was allowed to come back in the room with me.

I know that things were not near as bad for Sophia as some of the other babies in there but for me, it was my worst nightmare.

I can still see the scars on her heels where she was stuck repeatedly

(a total of 48 needle sticks including 2 for her IV site) 

& the scar from her IV is still visible but my baby is a fighter.

I couldn't bring myself to take pictures of her when she was hooked to all those wires but I do have one of her in her warmer before they took her to the NICU.

Enjoy.

Lessons From A Six Year Old

My six year old brought me to tears the other night.

It wasn't the first time and it sure won't be the last, I am sure.

We were standing around, talking with a friend about how we were going to have to move things around in order to pay them back a few dollars that we borrowed earlier in the week.

Kaylee disappeared upstairs and I assumed it was to play in her room.

As we were standing around talking, Kaylee comes down and hands our friend all the silver change she had in her piggy bank.

She told us that she knew we were having trouble and she wanted to help. 

In that moment I was so humbled and so filled with love that it brought tears to my eyes.

I was not even aware that she was listening. 

I think that we can all take a lesson from a six year old.

Help where we can. Even if you only have a little.

Our School Year So Far

This year Jeremy and I have decided to home school Kaylee.

I suppose home school isn't the right word.
Cyber school seems a better fit.

I did a lot of research during the last school year after the lock downs started.

I fully understand, respect and agree with the lock down policy at Kaylee old elementary school.

Parents aren't allowed to show up or take their children during a lock down. 

It makes sense to not want to stir more panic or chaos in an already high strung situation.

However, I don't like the idea of not having access to my child when her life could potentially be in danger.

During my research I came across a school called 

Commonwealth Connections Academy.

I logged it as a possibility and moved on with my research.
There are WAY more options than I ever knew about when it comes to home schooling or cyber schooling.

Four different times I came back to this school.

Then a few of my friends on Facebook started asking questions about it because they too were looking into it and liked what they saw.

Finally I sat down with Jeremy and we read through all the material on the website, watched the videos, sent away for additional info and looked up reviews.

After all, if we are going to make such a big decision such as being 100% involved with and responsible for Kaylee's education, we want to choose the best program for her.

After a few weeks of discussion, we decided on CCA.

A month after her start date, we couldn't be happier.

Kaylee LOVES it too.

I see her excited about things that she wasn't so excited about when she was attending traditional school.

I love that she can pretty much work at her own pace and the schedules are flexible.

Her 'teacher' is also very involved and Kaylee seems to like talking with her.

According to her first assessment, she already knows 63% of the Math that she's suppose to be learning this year.

There is a lot of work for the parents as well as the students, at least at Kaylee's stage but it is SO worth it.

I also plan on taking pictures of her 'learning center' when I finally have it the way I want it.

I am not going to take up a ton of your time telling you all about it.

Instead, I will put the link here and let it sell itself.

Seriously, if you are even considering home schooling your child take a look at the website.

CCA

Jeremy will be accompanying Kaylee on her first field trip of the year in a few weeks.

Kaylee is very excited as am I to share it with you all!

*image found on Google

Two hour appointment and answered questions.

Today I had an OB appointment.

When I went in, there was some concern that I may have been leaking amniotic fluid and/or be hemorrhaging.

Much to our relief neither of these things are true so Sophia stays put.

Thank Jesus. 

Through a lot of discussion and weighing the options with my actual doctor, not a stand in or midwife,

we have decided that, as it stands at this moment, I am allowed to go full term and attempt a natural birth with caution.

I COULD NOT be happier with that news. 

I know that the chances of completing a natural birth are not very high, but I am ecstatic that I at least get to try.

 The risks are, it may be more painful due to the tube in my back or my uterus could tear since I had a c section before.

both of these things are cautioned in my chart and I will be monitored closely. 

He also told me that if I am having trouble progressing naturally and baby girl and I are in good shape, we will do everything to help me have a vaginal birth.

It was a long visit that ended with me getting a shot in each arm but I am so happy to know that baby is strong, healthy and a week ahead. 

I am also so happy to know that we will be able to work towards the birth I want.

I want to thank everyone who reads for all the prayers and support that they have shown through the hardships and happiness of this pregnancy and illness.

I couldn't ask for better people. 

Now, any advice on how to not kill the man of my dreams while I am screaming in labor?

♥

Lets Talk About The 'C' Word.

Hello friends!

Thanks for coming back for another edition of my ramblings :-D

I would like to talk c-sections this time.

More specifically, my personal experience with them.

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, my doctor informed me that because of my height that there was a possibility for a c section.

As the pregnancy progressed, it was looking more and more like I would be able to deliver naturally.

This thrilled me because surgery scared the hell out of me.

Still does!

Well, on July 14th (3 days before my given due date) I went to the hospital with my contractions 6 minutes apart.

Long story short, I labored for 12 hours.

The doc came in and told me that my dilatation was not progressing and that I needed a c section.
That's the only explanation that I received. Before I could ask any questions, he was gone.

Being a first time mom, young and scared out of my mind I didn't know what to ask but it would have been nice to be given the option.
We didn't know what to do so we did what he suggested.

I have never regretted that decision. 

At least not until recently.

Week before last we had our fetal growth appointment to check on Sophia.

Our MFM doctor told us that everything looked good for a VBAC but we should discuss it with our regular OB since she'd be the one who is delivering Sophia and tracking my progress.
We had that appointment the next day.

While we were there she informed me that with all the medical issues that I have been having and the fact that I am in and out of the ER for pain control, a c-section would probably be in the best interest of both the baby and I.

I was crushed.

Over the next few days I was really down about the whole situation.

I felt  like I failed as a woman because my body won't do what it's suppose to.

I started searching for some articles and blogs to help me feel a little better about it.

Thankfully, the blogs and the out pouring of support that I have received from my friends and family have helped make me feel a lot better about the whole situation.

What has me most upset right now is the more research I do and the more doctors I talk to, I am starting to realize that my first c-section was probably unnecessary.
My medical team agrees.

Here's what makes me believe this to be true.
(Other than the medical team agreeing with me)

Lets start with the fact that the Dr. who delivered Kaylee is no longer licensed to care for pregnant women or their babies.

Next, he NEVER offered me an alternative. 

Not once did he suggest anything that could help my labor progress naturally.

My water had not broke and my membranes were still in tact.
My contractions were 4 minutes apart but they never did a scan to see where she was positioned or anything.
The doctor gave the word and I was prepped and wheeled into the O.R.
Quick and dirty.
I am grateful that Kaylee is here and she is healthy but I can't help but to feel a little vilotaed and cheated out of a very personal and wonderful experience.

Have any of you c-section mommy's ever felt like you were forced into a cesarean section?
What were your circumstances and experiences?

*MFM - Maternal Fetal Medicine
*VBAC - Vaginal Birth After Cesarean Section